Category Archives: RELATIONSHIP TIPS

Seven (7) Things You Should Know Before Dating Someone In Law School

Seven (7) Things You Should Know Before Dating Someone In Law School

 

Seven (7) Things You Should Know Before Dating Someone In Law School

Seven (7) Things You Should Know Before Dating Someone In Law School

Dating a law student might be crazy and tiring sometimes. This guide below will set you on the right path and prepare you for what is to come if you are to date a law student.

1. When you fight, you will never win.

Give up arguing with a law student because he or she will not back down (arguing is practically their job). They will challenge you until they are blue in the face. Even if you are obviously correct. Thus, be emotionally ready because they will find some defamation of your character or numerous evidentiary examples of why they are clearly winning the argument. In the end just accept the fact—they are always right.

2. They will dictate all preferred times and methods of communication.

If you can’t be flexible on how you keep in contact with your significant other in law school then quit while you’re ahead. You need to know that you will not stay awake until the wee hours of the night talking about your dreams and goals until one of you falls asleep. If you’re lucky, 10 minutes on the phone with your sweetie is like Christmas morning (it only happens once a year). The most revered communication in law school is the occasional text or G-chat. In between hours on their computer, Facebook is still their chosen form of procrastination. So download FB messenger and get used to using it. Oh, and here’s a line you need to be familiar with: “Don’t call me, I’ll call you.”

3. Resentment is a cruel, cruel reality.

DO NOT tell your significant other who hasn’t left their seat in the library in 4 hours to even take a pee break that you had a glorious nap or that you had time to log a solid two hours at the gym. This will not go over well. Their three hours of reading has now turned into five and the fact that you get to watch The Real Housewives of New Jersey will be a source of bitterness to your weary scholar. So be prepared for him or her to take their frustrations out on you. Try not to take it too personally.

4. When they are with you, they are thinking about law school.

Dating someone in law school is like dating a crack addict looking for their next fix. They have the constant itch to think about what their professor thought of their answer in class, what chapter they need to read, or what paper they need to finish. Trying to spend a “normal” day with your significant other, with mundane activities such as going to the movies, going for a hike, or laying around and shooting the shit is NOT possible. It’s not that you aren’t entertaining or important—it’s just the harsh reality that law school will always win over a date with you. You are not their number one priority, you probably rank somewhere just under sleep. Ouch.

5. Sleep is better than sex.

Yes, that is unfortunately correct. Your law school boo will crave sleep. They are deprived of it so often that the bags under their eyes become permanent. So when they do have a free moment to catch some ZZZ’s, getting a hard-on isn’t their number one priority. If you have an insatiable sexual appetite, run from someone in law school…or invest in a vibrator.

6. They say shit you wouldn’t believe.

If you didn’t get the inference already—law students can’t help but be a little selfish. I get that, they earned it. They worked their asses off in undergrad, studied countless hours for the LSATs and now they are basically living at school. But let’s be honest, sometimes they say things that make you think they have lost all humanity. When I was studying for my MCATs, my 2-L boyfriend told me, “I don’t have the faculty to be over emotionally invested in your MCATs.” My only response was, “Who the fuck uses the word faculty?” A nice “good luck on your test” text would have sufficed.

7. It’s not you, it’s them.

Law students are busy people who need to focus on two things: school & themselves. They tend to constantly be “unavailable” and “overwhelmed” This is a brutal reality you can either accept or refute. Bottom line is unless you have the time, the patience, and/or the compassion of a saint, dating a law student will either end in a viciously disastrous fashion or you’ll be married in no time, because if you can withstand three years of law school, you can handle anything.

How To Be Kind To Your Partner (Even When You Can’t Really Stand Them)

How To Be Kind To Your Partner (Even When You Can’t Really Stand Them)

How To Be Kind To Your Partner (Even When You Can’t Really Stand Them)

How To Be Kind To Your Partner (Even When You Can’t Really Stand Them)

One of the hardest things to do in a relationship is to be nice to your partner when you’re upset with them. It’s also one of the most important moments to be kind. Dr. Gottman’s research shows that couples who start arguments gently are more likely to manage conflict effectively, without harming the relationship. In fact, it is in these moments that Dr. Gottman can predict the success or failure of the relationship with over 90% accuracy.

 

In a popular Atlantic Magazine interview, Dr. Julie Gottman explains that, “Kindness doesn’t mean that we don’t express our anger, but the kindness informs how we choose to express the anger. You can throw spears at your partner. Or you can explain why you’re hurt and angry, and that’s the kinder path.”

 

The Vow of Kindness

 

Kindness is not just important in the heat of an argument, rather, it is about your mindful and considerate behavior throughout your relationship.

 

When we enter into a committed relationship, most of us make some sort of declaration  – a promise or a vow  – that we will uphold our partner and care for them. We also make a secondary promise: that we will be our best selves ,  full of integrity and hope for a successful future.

 

The act of not choosing kindness is therefore doubly hurtful – to our partners and to ourselves – because it undercuts our efforts for growth and the potential for greater intimacy.

 

A relationship is the concerted effort of two people who mindfully and enthusiastically work towards a shared vision. Despite the difficulties of daily life, partners are in charge of their own behavior. While a couple grows together, they are not precluded from growing as individuals as well  –  in fact they must evolve as individuals in order to continually bring their “best selves” to their partner.

 

Kindness Begets Kindness

 

How can you cultivate a habit of kindness in your relationship? Below are 3 powerful tips that you can put into action right now, regardless of where your partner is on their journey:

 

1. Think good thoughts We are wired to feel how we repeatedly think. Thinking positive thoughts about your partner will make it easier for you to think more positive thoughts, and to speak and behave positively towards them. In order to get into the habit of being kind, you must practice the thoughts as well as the actions.

 

Remind yourself of the nice things your partner has done each day. For instance, did they take out the recycling or come home early one night for dinner? However small the action, make it a habit of noticing the kindness as it is happening and make a mental note of how happy it makes you feel. When you see your partner, mention it to them. Noticing the good things about your partner helps to keep you in what Dr. John Gottman calls the Positive Perspective or Positive Sentiment Override. It is a sense of hopeful well-being that arises from a positive thoughts and positive interactions.

 

2. Accept responsibility Take responsibility for assessing your own feelings before presenting them to your partner. Whereas anger and frustration are legitimate emotions, further exploration might reveal that in fact you feel annoyed or sad about a situation. Perhaps upon reflection you find that in fact you felt abandoned or that your dreams are not being acknowledged. Being able to accurately pinpoint your feelings will help you to convey them in a kinder, gentler tone to your partner.

 

You might think it is more authentic to say exactly what’s on your mind without filtering anything for your partner, but consider that once they are hurt, it is harder for them to connect with you empathically. Take a moment to process your feelings with a therapist or by yourself. Try keeping a journal or log of your day and how you were feeling. Processing your feelings through writing often helps to sort out and organize thoughts.

 

3. Let hope win Have faith in the relationship and in your commitment. Even though you will have ongoing arguments with you partner, focus on your friendship. I see couples in my office who want to “solve” their issues first before going out for an ice cream or relaxing over dinner. It’s not possible to solve problems with someone you don’t want to collaborate with.

 

I often encourage couples to do an activity together to enjoy their love  –  despite their gripes! It is much easier to discuss problems with your best friend than with your “enemy.” It may take effort to institute a date night, but being close and connected is a habit, and habits have to be practiced consciously and regularly. Try going out of your way to be friendly to your partner.

 

For instance, pour milk in their cereal in the morning, or offer to walk the dog. Look up a movie they’ve been meaning to watch, or even send them a text message today (not about errands or scheduling) about something you’re looking forward to doing with them later.

We want to hear from you, share your thoughts below! 

 

 

Kindness Allows You to be Heard

 

Ultimately, kindness serves your expression of difficult emotions by offering your partner the capacity to really hear you. Even if you are angry, in order to approach your partner effectively you must be kind. If you’ve paved the way for your partner to be open to you, they are more likely to hear your frustration and respond with compassion. Kindness gets your needs met.

 

Being kind and gentle is a decision. Just as we offer a smile and hold the door open for a stranger, we must remember to cultivate this habit in our relationship no matter how many months or years have passed.

 

The longer we try, the easier it gets to summon up a positive picture of our beloved. The more we practice kindness, the easier it is to recall that our partner is also a human who is experiencing life alongside us. It becomes easier to offer a smile and to extend an olive branch to the person who is in the struggle with us – not against us.

Seven (7) Ways to Boost Your Partner’s Confidence In Bed After Unintentionally Bringing It Down

Seven (7) Ways to Boost Your Partner’s Confidence In Bed After Unintentionally Bringing It Down

Seven (7) Ways to Boost Your Partner’s Confidence In Bed After Unintentionally Bringing It Down

Seven (7) Ways to Boost Your Partner’s Confidence In Bed After Unintentionally Bringing It Down

Sex in real life isn’t perfect. There’s a lot of trial and error involved in making sex “good” for both you and your partner. But out of all the things that can go horribly wrong, experts say there is one mistake people commonly make in bed that can be a total mood killer. “Sadly things are often said that can have a negative effect on your partner’s sexual confidence without you realizing,” Sunny Rodgers, a clinical sexologist and certified sex coach tells Bustle.

No one in a healthy sexual relationship ever intentionally sets out to bring their partner down in any way. But sometimes, it happens. “When it comes to intimacy in the bedroom, you may find that your partner is much more sensitive, especially if the two of you have opened up and become comfortable,” Jeannie Assimos, eharmony’s Chief of Advice tells Bustle. “This is a sensitive area. Be super thoughtful about how you might bring up any sort of criticism, and always remember, this is your partner at their most vulnerable.”

It’s true. Everyone comes into new sexual experiences with their own set of insecurities. According to a recent Zava survey of 1,000 men and women, 67 percent of men say their biggest insecurity in the bedroom was their sexual performance. Nearly 80 percent of women say their body image makes them feel insecure.

When you unintentionally bring your partner’s confidence down in bed, it can affect your sex life for the worse. Sex should be a fun bonding experience. But how can you have fun when one partner feels like they can’t let go and enjoy it? The good news is, you don’t have to worry. According to experts, here are some ways to help boost your partner’s confidence after you unintentionally bring it down.

1.Let Your Partner Know How They Make You Feel

“People respond positively to their partner’s reactions to them,” Rodgers says. So if you want your partner to feel good about themselves or their performance in bed, vocalize how good they make you feel. “Verbally tell them how much they make you crave and desire them,” she says. “Be positive and specific as possible.” If you’re on the shy side and find it difficult to say out loud, she suggests writing them a quick note or text to let them know how they affect you.

2.Encourage Your Partner To Explore Their Own Body

Confidence in itself is sexy, Rodgers says. Knowing your body and what gives it pleasure can make a person confident, which in turn is very sexy. “I suggest encouraging your partner to explore their own bodies and what feels good to them,” she says. “Taking time to enjoy self-love is a great way to learn about your own body so it can naturally lead to better sex and more confidence.” Besides, mutual masturbation can be fun.

3.Spend Time Just Touching Each Other And Learning About What Feels Good

When you make an orgasm the end goal, there’s a lot of room for disappointment. Sometimes, redefining what sex or intimacy is for you can help make you and your partner feel more confident in yourselves and your performance. If feeling good and bonding with your partner is what you actually want from sex, then Rodgers suggests utilizing the power of touch. “A little Sex Ed never hurts when boosting confidence,” she says. “The more you know about your partner’s body (i.e. Where’s the clitoris located? What’s a frenulum?), the better!” Once your partner discovers which spots to hit on your body, their confidence will skyrocket

4.Reassure Them And Focus On The Positives

“To get your partner’s confidence back up, be vocal and positive about the things you like,” Assimos says. If their confidence is already shot, you may want to avoid the constructive criticism for a little bit. So don’t immediately say that you wish they would go a little slower next time. Stay focused on the positives. “The more you can impress upon them that it’s not a big deal the better,” she says. “Even if inside you might be a bit concerned about a performance issue, please be sure to let them know how hot you think they are, and tell them the things your love about them inside the bedroom and out.”

5.Talk To Your Partner About Bringing Sex Toys Into The Bedroom First, Don’t Assume Anything

If you have trouble orgasming during partner sex, you may think bringing in a sex toy to help can be the solution. “Unfortunately, bringing sex toys into the bedroom can sometimes end up hurting someone’s feelings,” Polly Rodriguez, CEO and co-founder of Unbound, tells Bustle. But the reality is, it doesn’t have to be. “When people ask us how to introduce toys to their partners, we always suggest to frame it as an experience you want to share with them,” Rodriguez says. “When you approach toys as a fun adventure together, your partner will be less likely to think that they’re being replaced, or that they’re inadequate. ”

6.Give Good Feedback Both In The Moment And After

Be sure to let your partner know what they’re doing right. “Mention specific things and be clear how much you like it,” Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C, Director of the Baltimore Therapy Center, tells Bustle. “Do this during the act, and do it afterwards as well.” Reminiscing about how good it was when your partner did that “one crazy move” and getting excited about it is a great way to make them feel like they really can please you, he says.

7.Have An Honest Conversation About It Outside Of The Bedroom

Sex should be fun and you should be able to laugh when things go wrong. But according to Rodriguez, laughing is another one of those things that can unintentionally go awry. “Sometimes laughing during sex can be misinterpreted as laughing at your partner rather than with them,” she says. Because of that, sometimes talking to your partner about why they shut down during sex is better left for another time and place. “It may be easier for your partner to open up if you’re not at the scene of the crime, so to speak,” Rodriguez says. Giving them time to cool off and be in a better head space can make having that conversation much easier.

For the most part, everyone wants to feel like they’re good in bed for their partner. People want to feel sexy and desired, especially by the one person that they want. But people do make mistakes from time to time. Sometimes things that are said can be taken the wrong way. If that happens, laughing off their concerns or downplaying it is not the way to go. If you want to help boost your partner’s confidence again, make a point to communicate how much you genuinely want them. And of course, be mindful to stay away from those things in the future….

Make Love With Your Wife 16 Times a Week, Relationship Consultant Advises

Make Love With Your Wife 16 Times a Week, Relationship Consultant Advises

Make Love With Your Wife 16 Times a Week, Relationship Consultant Advises

Make Love With Your Wife 16 Times a Week, Relationship Consultant Advises

Popular relationship consultant Joro Olumofin has advised Nigerian husbands to at least have s3x with their wives 16 times a week. He also advised against having pot belly. See what he wrote in full below:-

Letter to Husbands – ” you should have cex with your wife at least 16 times a week” (Case study ; Nigerian men)

Society has put so much pressure on women these days. If a man cheats it’s his wife’s fault for not “keeping him or satisfying him”, this notion is absolutely wrong. There are a million things a woman is asked to do just to keep her man, but there is no list of things a man is asked to do to keep his woman. We Men make it seem like women want to get married more than us and we’re doing them a favor by committing or being in a relationship. Most Men act like they are the only ones who are granted free PASS to cheat or it is their right to cheat. Women can cheat as well but they choose to be loyal in relationships for Love, peace sake and to keep their homes.

Here are a list of things that Husbands should do to make their relationship work :

1️⃣ cex : You should have cex with your wife at least 16 times a week and 0ral cex 5 times a week. This is your duty as man. It is your responsibility. No excuses

2️⃣ You must not have passwords on your phone or any device. If passwords are necessary, your wife should have them all.

3️⃣ You must not let her food waste. A happy married man shouldn’t be seen eating outside only lunch at work is allowed.

4️⃣Bring your wife breakfast in bed and bring back a gift from work everyday. Every single day. Even if it is fruits, a wig, a painting or flowers.

5️⃣ Prayer schedule. Fix a prayer & fasting routine once a month with your wife to tackle personal issues.

6️⃣Even if she has a job. She deserves a weekly or monthly allowance of at least N100,000.

7️⃣ Men complain that their wives don’t look the same as when they first met. A lot of men have pot bellies too. Work on your physical appearance.

8️⃣ Listen to her. No matter how tired or busy you are. Listen to her and gossip with her.
If you don’t appreciate your wife. She may seek appreciation elsewhere. It’s a full time job to be a good wife. Make it a full time job to be a good husband.

Top Qualities Every Good Relationship Needs Aside LOVE (check in)

Top Qualities Every Good Relationship Needs Aside LOVE (check in)

Top Qualities Every Good Relationship Needs Aside LOVE (check in)

Top Qualities Every Good Relationship Needs Aside LOVE (check in)

Love is obviously a must in a relationship but at times love is not enough as love does not conquer all and it takes more than that.

“Love is a beautiful thing, but without hard work, relationships fall apart; combining love and some other things is a good recipe for having an incredible and happy relationship”. Below are some traits everyone should add these to love in their relationship and you will notice a drastic improvement in your relationship.

Trust: “Trust is one of the most important things every good relationship needs, without trust, you spend all your time worrying about what your partner says or does and if you’re the one lying, you wonder if they are too; trust makes you feel comfortable sharing your secret hopes and dreams and it gives you the freedom to share your heart with another. Without it, you basically have an untrustworthy friend”.


 MOST VIEWED: 11 Tips To Make A Good Relationship Great


Compassion: “No relationship is 100% happy 24/7, both of you will have bad days and you will say things you regret, this is where compassion comes in; when bad days or things happen, you need to be compassionate and do what you can to understand and help your partner, this works both ways as compassion helps show each of you that the other cares”.

Compromise: “When you combine two lives together, you can’t expect to continue living your life the exact same way you used to, each of you have your own habits, hobbies, and quirks and it takes compromise on both sides to live happily together, if you’re not willing to make compromises, the relationship will simply dissolve into an endless argument but that’s not to say you have to give up everything, but compromise is necessary”.

Communication: “Many couples fail simply because they don’t communicate, they talk about the little things, they push aside anything that might seem uncomfortable or might lead to a fight; communication is crucial so make time to talk about what’s bothering you even if it causes an argument, at least you’ll get it out in the open and be able to fix it, don’t hold everything in, talk”.

Selflessness: “While you shouldn’t ever stay in a relationship where it’s all take and no give, you should be willing to be selfless, don’t do something for your partner just so you get something in return; happy relationships succeed because both people are selfless”.

Acceptance: “No one is perfect, both you and your partner have flaws and you will annoy each other, that’s part of being in love however, you have to accept that neither one of you is perfect; acceptance allows you to look past simple little flaws and focus on what’s most important – the fact that the two of you are perfect for each other”.

Loyalty: “If you’re not loyal in a relationship, you don’t really have a relationship, loyalty means supporting your partner and standing by their side and it also means not Cheat!ng and you shouldn’t be ashamed to stand by your partner”.

Forgiveness: “Both of you are human and will make mistakes while there are some things you might not be able to forgive, the majority of mistakes are forgivable if you’re willing to talk things out and make changes so before placing blame and giving up on a relationship, take the time to talk and forgive each other, relationships can be rocky sometimes, but forgiveness helps you navigate the rockiest roads”.

Observation: “You can’t fix problems or be there for your partner if you aren’t paying attention to the relationship so take the time to observe each other and learn the signs that signal their emotions, pay close attention to your relationship so you can work on it before it’s too late, of course, if you both love each other, you’re probably already extremely attentive”.

The Best Sex Position For Women That Helps Make Orgasm Attainable

The Best Sex Position For Women That Helps Make Orgasm Attainable

The Best Sex Position For Women That Helps Make Orgasm Attainable

The Best Sex Position For Women That Helps Make Orgasm Attainable

For most couples, cowgirl sex is still the best position there is when it comes to bedroom matter!

And experts say it doesn’t matter if you’re doing it regular, or if you are going for reverse, as either way feels amazing.

It allows a female complete control, and she can control the exact pace she wants to go at.

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In addition, it is one of the easiest and quickest ways to orgasm. And not only orgasm once, but it allows for repeat pleasure.

So, why did the jury give it to cowgirl? These reasons…

Makes orgasm attainable: The great thing about cowgirl is that it allows for great clitoral simulation, which then leads to achieving orgasm easily and quickly. Plus, it is perfect for a quickie.

The view: It is one of the few sexual positions that actually allows the female to look down at the male, not vice versa. You can raise yourself up, wrap your legs around him and admire his reaction below you.

It doesn’t hurt: You actually get to control the exact angle and level of penetration, so there is no need to stop halfway through because of any pain. Instead, you get to set the threshold.

So much confidence: It allows you to climb on top, really show off your skills and grind as much as you like. And that feeling of being in charge definitely gives a big confidence boost.

Take control: Instead of laying back and letting someone do something to you, you’re on top and can take control of the moment. Which is quite a powerful thrill.

Go at your own pace: You can go slow, or you can go fast. There are no rules or set moves, you can rock yourself however you see fit.

Can use sex toys: Regular cowgirl means that you’re both facing one another, which makes it so easy to add a toy like a bullet to tease the clitoris. It will only help to make your orgasms more intense.

Good workout: None of this passive nonsense with this move. You will have to put in the work, and you will totally burn a lot of calories doing it.

No flexibility required: Some moves like doggy style require flexibility, getting that perfect arch and friction burns on knees.But this move is comfortable, requires no flexibility and is still, well, sexy.

Can go reverse: If you want to mix it up, you can go for reverse cowgirl. You can squat or balance on your knees for a different level of penetration, and give your partner a sexy view to take in.

Do it anywhere: Anywhere you can sit on your partners lap is fair game for cowgirl.
A chair, the bed, the car, even in the cinema if you’re brave enough.

Can be romantic: There is something really romantic about this position, because it allows for face to face contact, holding one another close and a lot of kissing. But if romance isn’t your thing you can pick up the speed and make this position as rough and quick as you like. The best thing is, you’re in control; so it’s totally up to you.

11 Tips To Make A Good Relationship Great

11 Tips To Make A Good Relationship Great

11 Tips To Make A Good Relationship Great

11 Tips To Make A Good Relationship Great

Love doesn’t come with an on-off switch. It’s made of too many threads of memory and hope and heartache that weave themselves into the very core of who you are.

Do a Google search on how to get your best body and you’ll be inundated with pages of training tips. For those who want to take that same, proactive approach to creating your best relationship, I have your “exercise regimen” below.

1. Do the things you did the first year you were dating.

As the months and years roll on, we tend to slink into our proverbial sweatpants and get lazy in our relationship. We lose our patience, gentleness, thoughtfulness, understanding and the general effort we once made toward our mate. Think back to the first year of your relationship and write down all the things you used to do for your partner. Now start doing them again.

2. Ask for what you want.

Over time, we assume that our partner knows us so well that we don’t need to ask for what we want. What happens when we make this assumption? Expectations are set and just as quickly, they get deflated. Those unmet expectations can leave us questioning the viability of our partnership and connection. Keep in mind that “asking for what you want” extends to everything from emotional to sexual wants.

Think about who your mate really is and what excites him or her (both physically and emotionally). We can become consumed by what WE THINK he/she wants, as opposed to tuning in to what truly resonates with the other person. Remember that if it’s important to your partner, it doesn’t have to make sense to you. You just have to do it.

4. Don’t ask “how was your day.”

At the end of a long day, we tend to mentally check out of our lives and consequently, our relationship. We rely on the standard question, “How was your day?” Generally, that boring question will yield a boring answer such as, “Fine, how was yours?” This does nothing to improve your connection and instead, can actually damage it because you’re losing the opportunity to regularly connect in a small way.

Instead, try asking things like, “What made you smile today?” or “What was the most challenging part of your day?” You’ll be amazed at the answers you’ll get, with the added benefit of gaining greater insight into your significant other.

It can be short or long but it begins with asking each other what worked and didn’t work about the previous week and what can be done to improve things this coming week. Additionally, use this opportunity to get on the same page with your schedules, plan a date night and talk about what you would like to see happen in the coming days, weeks, and months in your relationship. Without an intentional appointment to do a temperature check, unmet needs and resentments can build.

6. Keep it sexy.

What might change in your relationship if both you and your partner committed to increasing the behaviors you each find sexy and limiting those that aren’t? Think about this in the broadest form. “Sexy” can certainly refer to bedroom preferences, but it also represents what excites us about our mate in our day-to-day lives. Do you find it sexy if he/she helps with the housework? Do you find it “unsexy” when he/she uses the restroom with the door wide open? Talk about what it specifically means to “keep it sexy” in your relationship. Be amazed, be humored, be inspired!

7. Get creative about the time you spend together.

8. Get it on.

Unless you have committed to an asexual partnership, sex, sexual contact and touching (kissing, holding hands, cuddling etc.) are vital components of a romantic relationship. The frequency is of course, up to you and it’s imperative that you discuss your ideas about it in order to prevent resentment. Rare are the moments when both partners are “in the mood” at the exact same second, but that doesn’t mean that you have to decline their advances. Remind yourself that you will almost always “get there” after the first few minutes and that an intimate interaction of any kind builds connection and elevates your mood and health. Bear in mind that you are never required to say “yes.” If you truly don’t feel it, the best thing you can do is to postpone. Just make sure that you initiate or accept within a reasonable amount of time thereafter.

9. Dig deep to unearth your true feelings.

In most disagreements, we communicate from the “Top Layer,” which are the obvious emotions such as anger, annoyance and the like. Leading from this place can create confusion, defensiveness and ultimately distract from the real issue. Start communicating from the “Bottom Layer” (i.e. What feelings are really driving your reactions such as disappointment, rejection, loneliness, disrespect etc.).

This type of expression creates an instant sense of empathy because it requires honesty and vulnerability to share from this space. Tension will dissipate and from here, solutions can spring. Just be sure to use kind, non-reactive phrasing when expressing these bottom layer feelings, such as “I felt hurt by…” as a replacement for “You’re such a jerk” etc.

10. Seek to understand … not agree.

Easy in concept, difficult in application. Conversations quickly turn to arguments when we’re invested in hearing our partner admit that we were right or when we are intent on changing his/her opinion. Choose to approach a conversation as an opportunity to understand your significant other’s perspective as opposed to waiting for them to concede. From this perspective, we have an interesting dialogue and prevent a blow out or lingering frustration.

11. Make your apology count.

It’s well understood that apologizing is a good thing but it only makes a real impact when you mean it. Saying things like “I’m sorry you feel that way” or “I’m sorry you see it that way” are a waste of time and breath. Even if you don’t agree that your action was wrong, you will never successfully argue a feeling.

Accept that your mate feels hurt and from this place, a real apology can have a significant impact. When you love your partner and hurt them (intentionally or not) you can always legitimately apologize for the pain you caused regardless of your perspective on what you did or didn’t do.

You are now, officially armed with the comprehensive exercise routine to fully reshape your relationship. Trim the fat and build your hottest relationship for life!

The Thing You Really Need To Remember After A Break Up: Your Passwords

The Thing You Really Need To Remember After A Break Up: Your Passwords

The Thing You Really Need To Remember After A Break Up: Your Passwords

The Thing You Really Need To Remember After A Break Up: Your Passwords

BREAKUPS are messy and with so much of our lives conducted online they have the potential to get even messier.

With all the feels and general upheaval that comes with the end of a romantic relationship it can be easy to forget one important thing to ensure a clean split: change your passwords!

Even if you weren’t one of those couples who over shared, the chances are you may still be logged in somewhere.

Whether it’s your social media accounts, your email, your online banking login, or your Netflix account, to avoid further turmoil, it’s best to hit refresh.

Some of us might have friends with horror stories of disgruntled former lovers causing havoc on their Facebook account while others might have read similar stories online. Such as the story of a vengeful ex who emailed everyone in his ex-girlfriend’s office with an essay of embarrassing stories about her.

“I’m not going to lie. I read it. It was three pages long for crying out loud, and it was super juicy. All kinds sex, drugs and rock-n-roll accusations,” wrote a reporter who recounted the story for the Baltimore Post Examiner a few years ago.

“It also was sad. Not only for the girl the email was about (if any of it was true) but also for the ex-boyfriend, who only accomplished looking like a bitter asshole with nothing better to do.”

And when it comes to social media, the chance for both post breakup espionage and sabotage are high.

Popular social media site reddit is full of such stories. One user recounted how she approached her ex-boyfriend about a new girl he was chatting to after she logged in to snoop on his social media accounts because she knew the passwords.

“I actually want him to change them because I’m still grieving and I have no self control,” she wrote.

In the comments section she found she wasn’t alone.

“I had something like that with an ex. At one point I even asked him kindly to change his passwords so I wouldn’t have to fight the urge to snoop,” wrote one commenter.

“It’s not up to him to change his passwords. It’s up to you to have the self-control enough to not access his accounts,” said another.

A separate reddit user expressed a complete nonchalance about whether his ex accessed his social media accounts.

“My ex has my password to literally every account I have, it’s actually the name of her dog. I haven’t changed my passwords because I simply don’t care if she goes and sees my messages to other girls, friends, etc.”

Not changing your passwords can turn heartache into a headache.

Not changing your passwords can turn heartache into a headache.

And then there’s the Netflix dilemma.

Depending on what type of Netflix account one has, you can use the account on multiple devices.

If you’ve engaged in some “Netflix and chill” during the course of the relationship (let’s hope so), your partner could certainly know your login details and could be watching House of Cards on your dime. Of course unless it was a particularly acrimonious break up, who really cares, right? But even still, it can lead to some further tension down the road.

For instance, one reddit user recently sought the council of strangers on the internet to ask if he was in the wrong because he changed his Netflix password after his ex-girlfriend got a new boyfriend.

“I thought about them just sitting on the couch watching my Netflix account, so I changed the password,” he wrote.

“She got mad, obviously, but I told her I wasn’t going to pay for their entertainment. Am I an asshole?”

No one wants to still be grappling with such intense self assessment long after your partner has moved on and found a new lover.

So remember, after you’ve kicked them to the kerb do yourself a favour and change your passwords people.

FORGET About Pleasure, Weird Things Happen To Some People After Orgasm

FORGET About Pleasure, Weird Things Happen To Some People After Orgasm

FORGET About Pleasure, Weird Things Happen To Some People After Orgasm

FORGET About Pleasure, Weird Things Happen To Some People After Orgasm

For some people orgasms bring pain. For approximately one in 100 people, sex headaches, also known as orgasmic cephalgia, are very real.

And this isn’t the only reason some people avoid sex.

In a recently published paper, “Did you climax or are you just laughing at me,” researchers explored the rare phenomenas that are associated with orgasm.

Case studies of peri-orgasmic phenomena were reviewed, including cases describing cataplexy (weakness), crying, dysorgasmia, dysphoria, facial and/or ear pain, foot pain, headache, pruritus, laughter, panic attack, post-orgasm illness syndrome, seizures, and sneezing.

One study referred to a woman who experienced spontaneous orgasmic sensations in her left foot. The researchers hypothesised that this was reflective of damaged nerve fibres in her foot.

In an interview, lead researcher, Dr Simon James, explained, “we believe, and I would say we know in mapping the human brain, whether it’s a male or female, that the genitalia are located very near where the great toe is mapped.”

Other research incorporated as part of the paper included reports of uncontrollable fits of orgasmic sneezing, dating back as far as the 1900s, and a woman who expressed concern at her partner’s laughter after orgasm.

Orgasms make some people laugh.

Orgasms make some people laugh.

“It’s hard to know exact numbers of people who experience unusual physical or psychological reactions as part of orgasm response as the occurrences are rare and have little scientific documentation,” says sex expert, Chantelle Otten.

Despite this, she notes that coital cephalalgia is probably the most well recognised condition and presents as one of two types.

“Type 1 involves pressure in the back of the head that builds into a headache during sexual activity. Type 2 is when a piercing, pounding headache occurs just prior or at time of orgasm.”

Otten explains that orgasm headache could be influenced by tension headaches and muscular contraction of the jaw and neck. If this is occurring, relaxation techniques and supplements could help relax the muscles.

“It’s an interesting phenomenon because, for many people, orgasm relieves pain and headache. It’s a natural ibuprofen,” she says. “Sex releases a bevy of hormones into the brain, starting with oxytocin, serotonin, phenyl ethylamine and endorphins.”

“With coital cephalalgia however, the mounting sexual excitement takes on a different manifestation in the brain and the body, and can be quite distressing for the sufferer.”

As with other symptoms, especially panic attacks and seizures after orgasm, Otten advises seeing a neurologist who has an interest in sexual reactions.

For the lighter conditions, such as foot pain, laughter and sneezing, she says the person experiencing these symptoms may be a little embarrassed but can manage. Despite this, Otten still suggests seeing a sex therapist to find a good way to handle these reactions and discuss them with a partner.

Gynaecologist, Dr Joseph Sgroi, echoes this sentiment.

“It’s important to work with a specialist team incorporating a gynaecologist, neurologist and sex therapist. It might feel overwhelming, but working with this closely associated team can help alleviate anxiety and concerns,” he says.

“Many individuals start to associate orgasm with fear, apprehension and distress, and this can have a consequential negative impact on their sexual activity and relationships, so seeking help early is best.”

Five (5) Big Mistakes Men Make About Women

Five (5) Big Mistakes Men Make About Women

Five (5) Big Mistakes Men Make About Women

Five (5) Big Mistakes Men Make About Women

Gone were those days when feelings are allowed to flow naturally, unhindered which end with a good result, unlike these days when feelings are manipulated with money and other material things. Today we will be discussing on some fundamental mistakes men make when it comes to women.

The desperation to find love or should I say get into a lady’s pant by most guys have made most relationships a manipulative one, most men make the mistake of thinking that can manipulate a lady into falling in love with them by turning on their charm or dashing out things to entice the lady.

1. Trying to buy a lady over: “Love is not money and money can never be used to buy love, if you waste your resources trying to buy a woman over, she would only be with you for as long as the money lasts you shouldn’t be disappointed to know that she would walk the very minute you are done squandering but if she is a woman who values her integrity above all, she may call your bluff and move on and at this stage, the wealth you have tried displaying around her has been disgraced”.

2. Placing beauty over character: “Many men make the mistake of picking their partners by using a physical attribute, they use this as the major criteria and give more importance to the women’s looks than to the character they exhibit but deeper values should be used in assessing your missing ribs, men who make this grace mistake end up losing the women because they move on to the next bidder as soon as the men misbehave and the union may not last because the men may lose interest as soon as the beauty fades”.

3. Substituting money for affection: “This is a grave mistake committed by most of the influential men in the society, they are hardly around and think giving the women enough money would hold them down till they return but in truth, women love money and would welcome the idea of having money to spend at all times you should however not be surprised to know that the money is being spent on other broke guys who are more than willing to be with them and attend to their s3xual needs”.

4. Being too nice: “A woman that would like you would like you irrespective of the fact that you act nicely around her, you do not have to bring yourself down to a level where you will become ridiculed eventually because you are trying to prove a point to her, love can never be forced; the earlier you understand this, the better for you and for the lady because you may become a potential maga or money machine once your desperation has been noticed”.

5. Making false assumptions: “A woman that is beautiful has to be taken or she’s high-maintenance, assumptions are the mother of all mistakes every time you make an assumption about a woman and it prevents you from approaching her, it amounts to another wasted opportunity to hook up with a beautiful woman so take a chance”.

The 10 Habits of Long-Lasting Couples

The 10 Habits of Long-Lasting Couples

What you MUST be doing to make sure you guys go the distance.

The 10 Habits of Long-Lasting Couples

The 10 Habits of Long-Lasting Couples

We’ve all swooned at the adorable stories of couples who spend their whole lives together, and are just as much in love with each other in old age as they were right at beginning. But what is their secret? How do they manage to maintain, and strengthen, their love through the years?

Well, psychiatrist Mark Goulston has published his advice. Read on to discover his 10 tips for lasting relationships:

1. Go to bed together. This doesn’t mean go have sex every single night, but rather go to bed at the same time. Dr. Goulston reckons that “happy couples resist the temptation to go to bed at different times” even if one gets back up shortly after. There’s nothing like a bedtime cuddle!

The 10 Habits of Long-Lasting Couples

2. Work out your common interests. It’s fine if he loves rugby while you’re into painting, and you shouldn’t even worry if the thing you find most boring is what really gets him going. But Dr. Goulston reminds us that the initial passion won’t last forever, so you need to make sure there’s some substance behind your relationship.

“If common interests aren’t present, happy couples develop them,” he says. “Don’t minimize the importance of activities you can do together that you both enjoy. At the same time, be sure to cultivate interests of your own; this will make you more interesting and prevent you from appearing too dependent.” Got it.

The 10 Habits of Long-Lasting Couples

3. Hold hands. Next time you’re out together, make sure you’re in sync by holding one another’s hand. A public sign of affection, Dr. Goulston advises that it’s a sign of real comfort. “It’s more important to be with your partner than to see the sights along the way,” he tells us.

4. Always trust and try to forgive. Obviously this depends on the severity of your disagreement, but as a general rule Dr. Goulston thinks it’s key to make “trusting and forgiving, rather than distrusting and begrudging” your default setting after an argument.

5. Focus on what they do right, not what they do wrong. Positive reinforcement is an age-old concept used with children and even the training of animals. But it’s still important for fully grown adults too. So compliment your partner when they deserve it and try not to look for things they do wrong. “You can always find something,” Dr. Goulston says.

But that works both ways; “If you look for what he or she does right, you can always find something too. It all depends on what you want to look for. Happy couples accentuate the positive.”

6. Don’t forget to hug. Dr. Goulston urges us to hug our partner every single day (if circumstance allows). “Our skin has a memory of ‘good touch’ (loved), ‘bad touch’ (abused), and ‘no touch’ (neglected),” he explains. “Couples who say hello with a hug keep their skin bathed in the ‘good touch,’ which can inoculate your spirit against anonymity in the world.”

7. Say “I love you” and “have a good day” every morning. Seems obvious, but it’s an important one. Saying something caring like that first thing will set the other up for their day. “It’s a great way to buy some patience and tolerance as each partner sets out each day to battle traffic jams, long lines, and other annoyances.”

8. Say good night, every night. Regardless of how you feel. Never go to bed on an argument. According to Dr. Goulston, even the gesture of saying good night “tells your partner that, regardless of how upset you are with him or her, you still want to be in the relationship. It says that what you and your partner have is bigger than any single upsetting incident.”

9. Check in with them throughout the day. Calling your partner to see how their day is going is “a great way to adjust expectations so that you’re more in sync when you connect after work.” So if your other half has had a nightmare of a day, you know what to expect. And you can probably get the Ben & Jerry’s, in an attempt to cheer them up.

10. Be proud to be seen together. We know there’s a line between a sweet show affection and blatant PDA, but Dr. Goulston reminds us that a display of tenderness in public is important. “It’s not showing off, but rather just saying that they belong with each other,” he tells us. And that’s quite nice.

This advice was originally published on Mark Goulston’s website.

Seven(7) Signs He's Totally Into You

Seven(7) Signs He’s Totally Into You

Decoding the communication cues that say it all.

Seven(7) Signs He's Totally Into You

Seven(7) Signs He’s Totally Into You

The follow-up after a first date is rarely as simple as: “I like you, I had fun, let’s get together again.” First, there are layers of meaning in texts to unpack coupled with the actual timing: who reaches out first and how quickly does the other person respond? It can all feel like a giant chess match at times.

Either party can play coy because a) They don’t want to look too eager/desperate and b) They’re not sure how the other person feels (it’s scary to take the dive of expressing interest without being sure where the other person stands).

Despite attempts to put up an aloof front, though, there are a number a things men do to clue you in that they’re interested. Below, our guy expert Rich Santos spells out some of the motives and reasonings coming from the other end, to spare you the next-day mental math.

1. Completing the Date

Low bar, we know, but hear us out. While the act of simply seeing the date through to its end may seem like an obligation for most people, Santos indicates that there *are* exceptional dating disasters where he simply has to cut it short for his own sanity. “Most people are courteous enough to do the absolute minimum on a date: finish whatever activity you’re doing together and devote sufficient time out of respect for the other person,” he says, so provided your date’s not running out with an “emergency text from a roommate” after twenty minutes, it’s an easy first sign that there wasn’t any major fire to put out.

2. Wanting More One-on-One Time

When your date wants to spend time with you alone instead of calling in backup for a group date, says Santos, it likely means that he’s comfortable around you and wants to spend more time getting to know you. “One tactic to combat a boring date,” he says, “is calling in ‘reinforcement’ friends” as social buffers. “I’m naturally talkative with those around me, but if I invite everyone else around us into our party, I might be looking for a more interesting outlet.”

“One tactic to combat a boring date is calling in ‘reinforcement’ friends.”

3. Extending the Date

Suggesting something (other than going back to someone’s place) after dinner like taking a walk, grabbing a drink, going for dessert, catching a movie, etc., is a solid indication that your date’s asking for an encore. “A masochist like myself might ask a girl to spend more time with [him] if [he’s] not enjoying her company,” Santos says, but if he’s willing to see things through to the end and extend the date past the “easy out” first location of a bar or coffee shop, there’s a good sign he’s making the time because he wants to see where things are going.

4. Suggesting *Another* Date

“Sometimes I get so excited during a first date I play my cards by suggesting other things we should do together,” says Santos, though the timing may not be that immediate. A common time to suggest another date is at the end of the date. Though some may say this merely to be friendly before making a quick exit, says Santos, “it can’t be bad if the guy is enthusiastic enough to suggest a second date. He just has to make good on his word.”

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5. The Friendly Follow-Up Right After You Say Good-bye

A good sign that a date went *really* well, says Santos, is when a guy giddily follows up after a date to let you know he had a great time without waiting. The alternative makes for a stark difference: “If I’m not interested after the date, I’ll head straight home and begin my process of fading out of this girl’s life (following up is not part of that process).” Of course, if you don’t hear back right away, it’s not a definite rejection from the other party. But the added excitement of a speedy follow-up message speaks for itself.

6. Striking While the Iron’s Hot

Here comes the tricky “wait and see” part. When the other party doesn’t send you that speedy affirmation text, or shoot you a greeting within a few days, it can mean a number of things. Santos says that waiting too long to to follow up is one sign that the other person is flaky or uninterested, which in either case is probably not worth your time. “If I enjoyed the date I’ll contact her within a few days. This doesn’t necessarily mean I’m asking her out again just yet. I’m just keeping the conversation going,” he says.

On the other hand, either being ghosted or receiving non-committal, half-hearted responses without the intention of setting up a concrete next date is a sure sign of disinterest. And while the standard puts so much pressure on the guy to make the first move, there’s no harm in taking a feminist stance of reaching out before he does if you’re really interested.

“Hold him to a higher standard than one extra date, or one call back after the initial date.”

7. Consistency

When you start dating someone and haven’t established exclusivity, says Santos, it’s also important to measure signs that the other person is as on-board as you are. This could mean making regular conversation or establishing dates at a consistent frequency. “Hold him to a higher standard than one extra date, or one call back after the initial date. How many times have you gone on a few dates only to have it fizzle out?” he says. Transparency is key if you’re not looking for anything serious, and on the flip side, don’t count on the other person having serious intentions if you haven’t seen each other consistently for a month or so..

Source: www.marieclaire.com

6 Signs He's About to Say I Love You

6 Signs He’s About to Say I Love You

It’s coming …

6 Signs He's About to Say I Love You

6 Signs He’s About to Say I Love You

It’s hard to say those three simple words. For most men it starts off as a suspicion (“Holy f*ck. Do I love this girl?”) then it grows to certainty, then to anxiety about how and when to say it, and whether the woman might feel the same way. Even if your guy has a hunch that you love him too, it’s nerve-wracking to be the first one to say “I love you.”

Plus there’s the pressure of getting it “right.” He wants to be sitting in a park after the best date ever, have a sweet speech ready, and as soon as you say it back the previously inactive fountain comes to life and shoots beautiful streams of water into the air as you kiss. That’s what the movies make us think this moment should be, and most men know it won’t be that, so we avoid the actual act of saying these words longer than is needed or comfortable. Here are six signs that he’s gearing up to finally tell you that he loves you.

He Talks Around It

Even if the setting is perfect and he’s been meaning to say it it’s still hard to get those exact words out: “I love you.” Sometimes a guy will talk around it in a million other ways. For example, he’ll start with the word “I,” squeeze you tight, make a soft noise and then say “you.” Or “I [insert sweet, knowing look] you.” It’s like we need to test the water to see if you’ll please (please!) say it first. This is the I’m-going-to-open-the-door thing we do, where we make it so clear that we want to say it but don’t actually do so.

He is Being a Creeper

Speaking of looks, you will know your guy is getting ready to say it because you will be getting ready for a night out, or working away across the desk from him, and look up and he will be staring at you like a creeper, a slight smile playing across his face. He’s admiring you, and inwardly copping to the fact that he does indeed love you, and you just caught him in the act of doing so.

He Has a Recurring Thing for You

Sometimes a man will express that he loves you in simple gestures. He will develop a little thing he does regularly so you know he cares. This could be flowers for no reason, or leaving a little mint on your pillow for when you wake up in the morning, or always having your favorite drink ready when you come over. These simple, routine gestures are a way of him relaxing into the relationship. He is building out a life with you, getting into sweet habits that he hopes to maintain for years to come. Even if he hasn’t acknowledged that he’s in love with you, he’s showing it all the time by these little recurring signals.

He Keeps Your Stuff Around

In the same vein, he has your stuff at his place. Either it’s the stuff you’ve left there, like your hair dryer, or stuff he has specifically purchased for you – perhaps a toothbrush, your favorite tea, or a type of wine you like. He wants you around all the time, and is building out his personal space to accommodate and invite you in.

He Has a Million Inside Jokes With You

If he keeps bringing up certain inside jokes, about a horrible movie you watched together, or something your mom always says, or a funny thing you saw in the streets, it’s because he is gearing up to tell you I love you. He’s laying the groundwork for a certain familiarity, building out a way of life and things you both care about, so as to establish a basis where a big admission like “I love you” wouldn’t be so out of place.

He Makes Big Date Plans

Have you been going out to more expensive dinners than normal? Has he invited you to fancy cocktails at a swanky hotel bar? Followed those sorts of things up with long strolls through any parks? Yeah, he’s on the verge of telling you that he loves you. In fact, if you’ve had a few of those sorts of dates lately he likely tried to get up the nerve to say it then failed.

He’s looking for the right time to say it, but felt it hasn’t been natural to do so yet. After a few of those big dates don’t be surprised if he just blurts it out some time while looking at old photos on his couch. It may not be the most romantic story to tell later, but he simply couldn’t hold it in any longer.

 

 

 

10 Things Not to Say to Someone Who's Always in a Relationship

10 Things Not to Say to Someone Who’s Always in a Relationship

No, it’s not boring. If it were boring I wouldn’t be doing it.

10 Things Not to Say to Someone Who's Always in a Relationship

10 Things Not to Say to Someone Who’s Always in a Relationship

1. “How do you spice it up?” As if it weren’t already spicy. When you’re in a really, really good relationship, you don’t have to search for spices — they’re just there in infinite supply.

2. “You’re young! You need to get out there and experience what the world has to offer you.” And by that do you mean “have one-night stands with guys who don’t know what they’re doing and first dates that are awkward as hell”? I don’t judge if that’s what you enjoy. But if I found My Person, there’s no point in going on dates that I don’t really want to be on.

3. “How’s the ball and chain doing?” Or “How’s the boyyyyyyfriend?” you might say while rolling your eyes as if to suggest it’s such a chore to be in a happy, steady relationship. He’s great and we love the shit out of each other, actually! Thanks for asking.

4. “People in long-term relationships are just people who are way too comfortable with each other.” Allow me to clarify: A comfortable relationship is not an unhappy relationship. I’m comfortable with my significant other in the sense that I will walk around with no makeup and send him ugly selfies. Comfort does not make us dislike each other.

5. “It’s so weird that you have no one else to compare him or your relationship to. How can you even tell if he’s The One?”  This is hard to understand for someone who hasn’t found their person yet, but if you have found your person, you know. To put it in simple terms — your favorite personal belonging probably isn’t your favorite because some external force made you realize that it is. Your favorite green bracelet is your favorite green bracelet because you love it and it means something to you. It’s that simple. So, yeah, I just know.

6. “I don’t believe in monogamy.” And I do. Which is why I am me, and you are you. Oh, look, a poem!

7. “Come on, just be my wingwoman!” Uh, no, that’s boring for me. I don’t bring you out on my dates because you’d rather poke your eyes out than be a third wheel, which is totally fine. But that’s what being your wingwoman feels like to me.

8. “Doesn’t it get boring?” If it were boring I wouldn’t be doing it. I’m in a committed relationship with a person, I am not in a committed relationship with boredom. Thanks though.

9. “You can’t be together long-term if you don’t hook up with other people first.” This is a real thing that someone told me once, and it blew my mind. Just because the first guy I got with ended up being the only guy I wanted to get with doesn’t mean that it’s not real. (See no. 5 above, ahem.)

10. *Not ever inviting me to girls’ things where it’s mostly single girls because they assume you don’t want to come.*  Just because I am in a relationship doesn’t mean I am against hanging out with single people. When I’m going out with my best girlfriends, the last thing I am thinking about is anyone’s relationship status. So if you’re going out for a fun night of drinks and food, whether or not you’re looking for hookups, count me in!

The 10 Habits of Long-Lasting Couples

The 15 Emotional Stages of Being in a New Relationship

The 15 Emotional Stages of Being in a New Relationship

The 15 Emotional Stages of Being in a New Relationship

1. Oh my god, where did you come from, most perfect person I have ever met?! Kissing you is the best and hanging out with you is the best and also not having to date someone who is a total loser is the best! Plus, you are so hot! How are you so hot?

2. Oh my god, you listen to Sixpence None The Richer’s “Kiss Me” unironically, too???/Wait, you listen to Dave Matthews Band and you’re openly admitting that? I’ll just tell myself you don’t really like DMB and focus on the Sixpence tidbit, and we’ll get through this.

3. Every song I listen to reminds me of you. “Drunk in Love”? You. This weird EDM song that’s mostly just beeping sounds with a foghorn playing over it? Somehow still you.

4. That one thing you do is really weird and I’m not completely into it. I’d be lying if I said that the fact that you brush your teeth using only baking soda wasn’t confusing and strange, but I still like you a lot, so who cares? No one is perfect.

5. I’m just gonna Google your exes really quickly. Just to see if I’m hotter than they are. No big.

6. Uh-oh, I’m mad at you and you’re mad at me. I don’t want to have a fight because I hate fighting but I’m also mad at you. And now you’re mad at me because I was mad. I’m glad you told me about it and actually, you handled it pretty well, and you know what, I handled it pretty well too. Man, what can’t we survive?

7. Man, the qualities I do not love about you are really piling up. Again, it’s cool though because they don’t really matter and all your other qualities are seriously top notch. Still feelin’ it.

8. Will things always be this great? A lifetime of just pleasant experiences and awesome sex? Is that a thing?

9. Oh, no, what if one day things aren’t great and this ends. I don’t want it to end. Do you think it might end, every friend I know and also strangers I ask on the street? Do you? I would be so sad. Great, now I’m sad and nothing has even happened yet.

10. I’m so into you but also know basically nothing about you. Like, do you have a secret family? Is it weird to ask about diseases?

11. Why did anyone ever break up with you? Wait, why did they break up with you? Am I missing something? What if we break up for the same thing they broke up with you for? Oh well, they sounded like an asshole anyway.

12. I feel like I’m in love with you but I will not, will not, say it. I mean, I think it approximately five times every time I see you but I know it’s too soon and I will not say it. Don’t you worry about that.

13. You didn’t text me back last night so, obviously, you’re dead. I will attend your funeral and say that I loved you because I did, only I couldn’t say it because we’d only been dating a few months, but now that you’re dead, all bets are off. I loved you. I really did.

14. Honestly, if you are thinking about dumping me, which you might be because I have no idea what’s going on at this point, that’s fine. I don’t even care. Like, what are you, Angelina Jolie in the ’90s? No. You’re just a person. I’ll find someone else. It’s not a big deal. I mean I only loved you, like, a little bit anyway. Whatever.

15. But seriously, please don’t leave me, I’ve already imagined our wedding and you are so great I could cry. Wait, what’s that? You haven’t thought about leaving once? And you like me as much as I like you? And I should just stop overthinking every millisecond of our courtship so I can actually enjoy the fact I’ve found someone remarkable? Fiiiiine.

Eight (8) Ways To Protect Your Heart From Being Played By Guys

Eight (8) Ways To Protect Your Heart From Being Played By Guys

Eight (8) Ways To Protect Your Heart From Being Played By GuysEight (8) Ways To Protect Your Heart From Being Played By Guys

The only way to find love is to date with an open heart but at times that open heart is what gets many women played by men. Most times, women give their best, invest time and energy in men only for them to eventually realise it’s only a wasted effort and start the trend all over again.

Are you ready to start all over again and give another relationship another chance again? Then you will have to protect your heart well so you won’t be played again and not waste valuable time with a loser.

 

Ladies, here are ways to protect your heart from being played.

 

Avoid guys with obviously low self-esteem.

Make sure any guy you relate with, have values regarding family and relationships and those values match yours.

Don’t accept his bad behaviour.

Pay attention to what he DOES  and not what he SAYS.

Make sure he includes you in all aspects of his life.

Be very sure he’s INTO you.

Wait to have s3x (the right one will wait!).

Make sure you feel relaxed and happy when you’re with him.